Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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