Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
