Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
