NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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