I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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