Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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