You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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