I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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