...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
