I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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