why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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