Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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