I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
