you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
