Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
