Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
