New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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