so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and she was petting her beer can
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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