I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
