She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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