girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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