wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
