dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
