I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
