would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
