Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
