So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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