I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
