ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
