We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
