So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
