Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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