Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
