Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize