hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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