also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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