So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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