Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
