Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
