My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
