lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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