GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
