Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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