my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My breasts were aching with rage.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I had to cum in my sink.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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