Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
