I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
