They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
