12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
