Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
