just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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