just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
