i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Damn victory sex feels great
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
