anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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