were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
