Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
