Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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