I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
