am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
