I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
