More tranny stories later!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if only i could text you this smell
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
