On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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