It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
