capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
