I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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