no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i love accidental penises.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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