It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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