just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize